FOREWORD

— By Ryan Crandell  

“Put your hands up! Get out of the car slowly! Get down on your knees and walk backward. Anyone else in the car?” A deputy sheriff pointed a gun at me as he gave orders. A large, barking police dog lunged toward me, tugging fiercely at the end of a leash.

                I got out of the car and $200 in cash floated to the ground. It was money I had taken when I’d robbed a bookstore only hours earlier. I’d already spent the cash from the other four armed robberies I’d committed within the past 48 hours. I’d been in a drug-induced cloud of Coricidin and marijuana for three months, and my mind was foggy. Handcuffed, I was loaded into the sheriff’s cruiser to begin what would evolve into a 13 year prison sentence in a California State penitentiary. I was three weeks past my 18th birthday.

                I wasn’t even supposed to be there. When I’d left my house, my plan was to drive to Carson City, Nevada and stay with a family of a girl I’d met in rehab. I even had a job lined up at a lumber company. That was honestly my intention – to go live in Nevada, away from all the drugs and people in my home town who used drugs. I think now about how different my life might be now – if I had just headed there directly. Unfortunately, I made a big detour.

                How did this happen to me? I had a great childhood. My father coached my sports teams and my mother was always up to cook breakfast, take me to school and take care of me. There was no dysfunctional family to blame my problems on. I had loving parents, a great little brother, a nice home, a cool car and plenty of advantages. If I had to sum up my family life in one word it would be “awesome.”

                I suppose I started my journey to addiction like a lot of kids do – in their parents’ liquor cabinet. From there, I progressed to marijuana and eventually became addicted to drugs. I used anything I could get my hands on, often mixing over-the-counter cold medications with alcohol or illegal drugs. As my drug habits progressed, I began stealing from my parents’ wallets, arguing about everything and skipping school. I hid my drug habits well and became a proficient liar. But, eventually the truth of my addiction was revealed and I was placed in drug treatment facilities.

                I stayed clean and sober for only 67 days before the overwhelming pull of drugs lured me back into its deceptive grip. And in the three months before being arrested for armed robbery I was high 24/7. Don’t ask me what I was thinking during those five-armed robberies. I wasn’t thinking. I was in a drug-induced haze. About the only thing I remember was driving on the freeway, feeling like I was in a video game, racing down the road, trying stay in between the dotted lines.

                I’ll be in prison until I’m 31 years old. I’ll do the time I owe the state and then start my life again. I take full responsibility for my crimes and I deserve to be behind bars. No one is to blame for my situation except me. If I hadn’t been arrested, I’d be dead.

                One day I hope to get out of prison and become a drug and alcohol counselor. I think that no one can help an addict better than someone who has walked in that dark valley of shadows, the way I have.

                I’ve put my family through hell. And I don’t deserve their love. Amazingly, they have forgiven me and for that I am extremely grateful. My promise to my family is to stay clean for the rest of my life, one day at a time. I’ve re-dedicated my life to God and with His help I know that it is definitely possible.

                My mom, a very wise women, whom I love and respect, once told me that God’s plan is perfect; that everything happens for a reason, and that God will never give me more than I can bear. She’s now written a book about what she’s learned through my drug addiction and has dedicated her life to preventing other teenagers from going through the same tragedy that I took my family through. I’m so proud of her.

                This is a true story of how I screwed up. But it’s also filled with good advice my mom learned the hard way as she tried to help me beat drugs. Every parent needs the information on these pages. If you’re a parent, you need to be aware of how easy it is for kids to get hooked on drugs and alcohol, and what you can do to help your kids when it happens.